Hey, Shanen here. Not your typical daily shenanigan.. I mean blogger. 😬
So I recently posted about DISS-appointment issues and made a new theme of my blog. For this time, I’ll be sharing you guys my thoughts and experiences for the past few weeks. (This was made as a draft 3 weeks passed now)
DISCLAIMER: Some parts will be in Filipino and I wanted to give credits to those people (whom I can’t mention for now) for inspiring me to do this one and for those who saddens me.. you know what? without you I won’t be able to do this. You’re still welcome 😝
I’ve been dealing with so many new people recently. Especially at school and careers. I’m not that typical type of person who’s use in socializing and being friendly (very often). Yes, I’ve been through that kind of character for the past 3 years honestly.
What made me independent and alone for awhile is that I just wanted to take a break from all the non-sensical things that (still) bothers me from my decision-making, relationships, priorities and career.
Until I realize that, dealing with people is challenging for me nowadays. What I mean for dealing with people is that in Filipino it is called “Pakikisama”. Challenging in a way that I don’t want to spare time to some people whom I wanted to know more about me. Yes, I’ll deal with you (as a new person) for some important matters, not for further and confidential things like introducing myself as your new friend slash best friend.
I JUST STOPPED BEING THAT KIND OF PERSON AGAIN. COZ’ I HATE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.
Growing up, I realize that you just need to keep people worth treasuring for. These people in majority who you’re meeting as you grow up may just be there because they need something for you and not “actually” BEING there FOR YOU. I mean, these persons also had their own friendships and you don’t want to bother them in their priorities right? I learn to just respect them and continue what I should be doing.
Making precious relationships with other people has been bothering me for awhile. That’s why I have to first take a priority on myself which I was not able to do for the last 3 years.
I just have to keep those people who knows me for the last 3-10 years for they are those people who stood behind me and now, they’ve become my motivation in life. Since I already know who’s real or toxic and which ones to keep or let go, those people are already enough for me for awhile.
Note to self: YOU’RE NOT MATURED IF YOU’RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO LET GO. (Thanks Ate-(Big sister) Alex Gonzaga)
Now, there’s so much challenge for me especially I’m dealing with new people whom I ACTUALLY HAD MORE DISAPPOINTMENTS with rather than the last 3 years. Oh God why. 😭 But still, I’m forever grateful because this keeps me strong and I was able to give time for my inner self whom I (wasn’t) noticing from before. I’m so sorry inner self. Thanks for the patience! I may sound idiot but it’s true. Always give time for yourself, love yourself first before loving other people. In this way, you will not hurt yourself from being an idiot from before or for being obnoxious throughout your life.
If this issue of mine will be changed then my heart will be open for those people I’ll meet in the future. I’m honestly scared as of the moment and I just wanted to bond with myself for awhile. It’s not being selfish but it’s for me to rejuvenate myself from the society once I thought was magical. I’m on a process of desocializing myself but I pray I’d overcome and resocialize myself in life.
I’m forever thankful and blessed no matter what situation I am sailing at the moment. Godbless us always ~
💓Let all that you do be done with L O V E 💓
💞 Til’ next blog post kawaii readers 💞